


maybe all we are is fools with hearts that tried too hard

by zommijin



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Complicated Relationships, Dancing, Drabble, Feelings, M/M, Prom, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24620665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zommijin/pseuds/zommijin
Summary: “You know what? Fuck it all. Let’s be stupid teenagers for tonight and dance 'til we puke our insides up."...zalex dance scene we were robbed of from s4e9.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	maybe all we are is fools with hearts that tried too hard

**Author's Note:**

> me rewriting prom ep so zalex nation can have a zalex dance
> 
> song inspo for this fic is “maybe, I’m afraid” by lovelytheband
> 
> This is a very much older piece of writing that I decided to polish bc zalex nation do b starving 😿😿 it kinda do b whack writing

_"I don't want to go to a dance and just sit there, 'cause that’s stupid."_

* * *

Alex stares at the massive sea of bodies on the dance floor.

They writhe and shift steadily along to the bass of whatever song is playing, smiles present on their faces, like they couldn't care for a thing in the world. Charlie had tried numerous times to get him onto the dance floor, but he'd refused, opting to sit and admire the pulsating crowd from the relative safety of the table. 

He's not sure why he's refused Charlie's proposal to dance. What he's sure of though, is that he didn’t want to dwell on the thought for long, so he distracts himself with the heavy techno beat that rattles the floor, takes small sips out of the glass that has a fancy detailing around the rim, and judges people's dance skills. 

He picks out a couple people from the mob on the dance floor that he recognizes— Tyler, Estela, Tony, Caleb, a handful of the football jocks plus Charlie, but he comes to find that Zach is missing. Knowing Zach, he's probably either getting drunk or high, or he's fucking that stupid hooker, Presmilla, whom he brought as a date. 

Who brings a hooker to senior prom? 

As if his thoughts of Zach summoned him, a loud whoop comes from behind him.

"What is up, sexy?" Zach hollers over the noise. He flops down onto the spare chair, and gives Alex a charismatic grin. The bottom of his dress shirt is now untucked, and a loose curl of his hair threatens to poke his right eye. Something flutters in Alex's chest. 

“Where's Bismillah?" Alex asks dryly, ignoring his rapidly pounding heart, "you know, your hooker date?"

“Presmilla— one, she’s an escort who’s escorting me, not a hooker. Two, she’s probably shooting up in the washroom or something." Zach squints up at the ceiling, "I dunno, man, and I could give less of a shit." 

”That’s your idea of a good time?" 

”Is this?” Zach scoffs, gesturing at him. “You're sitting here like this is a fucking funeral. Aren’t you gonna at least try and convince yourself that you're having fun?"

Alex listlessly shrugs in reply. 

He finds his gaze wandering through the crowd on the dance floor once more, and Charlie catches his eye, beams, and waves him over. He finds his head shaking no in response. Charlie gives him a small nod, and turns around to talk to some tall guy— probably from either the football or basketball team. Turning his head around, he sees that Zach has a flask touching his lips. 

"Remember the night of Spring Fling?" Zach finally breaks the quiet, his voice barely audible over the throbbing beat. He's slouched back in his chair, his shoulders nearly touching the bottom of his ears. The flask he’s holding in his hand is tilted downwards, and drops of the orange liquid dot the floor like tear drops. 

"Yeah, like a lot of shit went down that night. Of course I’d remember. Why?"

"Well, I mean, before Spring Fling."

There's a slight pause, and Alex’s heart stills. 

"When we were in your room." 

His breath hitches. "Yeah," he mumbles, biting the inside of his cheek as he watches Zach despondently take another swig from his flask. 

"You said you wouldn’t go to a dance just to sit there, because that’s stupid,” Zach muses. He meets Alex's eyes. “Yet here you are." 

Then, there's that familiar, teasing smile that’s spreading across Zach's face— the one that makes Alex want to do impulsive, silly things— and Zach starts to laugh. 

Alex feels like his heart is about to rupture from his chest. Heat licks his skin.

"Fuck you. Gimme that." He snatches the half-empty flask from Zach's hand, and lifts it to his lips. There's a faint protest from Zach, but the awful-tasting liquid is already burning down his throat. The liquor settles as a comforting buzz in the depths of his stomach. 

“This tastes like shit,” Alex announces, but takes another large sip. The insides of his mouth feels sticky, and he tries to swallow.

“Yeah, that’s kinda the point,” Zach replies, and his eyes appear to twinkle under the warm lighting. Alex wants to brush the free strand of hair out of Zach's eye, but silently reprimands himself. 

Clutching the base of the flask tightly, he impulsively tilts his head back and downs the rest of whatever was in the flask. He almost coughs it all back up, and groans, the foul taste now imprinted on his tongue. 

"Fuck," he huffs, letting Zach pry the flask out of his sticky fingers, and replace it with the glass of water. His front teeth clink on the edge of the glass, and a dribble of water escapes, running down his chin and darkening the cream-coloured tablecloth to a tan. He lowers the glass over the tan spot, as if in an attempt to hide the spill away.

"Fuck, Standall," Zach quietly echoes. He tucks the flask back away into the folds of his suit, and wipes his fingertips on the tablecloth. His eyes flicker over to Alex, and their eyes meet.

The chill that runs down Alex’s spine is electrifying. 

* * *   
  
  


_"Aren’t you tired of being afraid?"_

_"Yes."_

_“Then let’s make some noise.”_

* * *

“You know what?” Alex finds himself standing up, extending his hand out to Zach. “Fuck it all. Let’s be stupid teenagers for tonight and dance 'til we puke our insides out." 

Zach raises an eyebrow— obviously not expecting that to come from his mouth. His mouth opens, forming a little 'o', but no words come out. For a moment, Alex worries he’s made shit between the two of them awkward again, but then Zach grins.

“Fuck," Zach heavily enunciates every word, glee growing in his voice as he went along, "it. All."

"Fuck it all," Alex repeats, and for a moment, he’s standing on a little boat in the middle of nowhere, yelling their worries away at the sky with the boy he’d loved for over a year. Zach’s hand in his startles him back into reality— his thumb gently rubs the back of Alex's hand, and Zach gets to his feet. 

Alex pulls him onto the dance floor, where they melt into the crowd. It’s an interesting concept; dancing with Zach makes him feel like he’s just another teenager in the crowd, making memories that’ll last forever, whereas dancing with Charlie makes him feel like people are watching them. He’s not sure if it’s a good feeling or not, but he doesn’t want to dwell on that for a second longer, so he focuses his attention back on the dance floor. 

Zach pulls his hand away, and immediately begins to sway to the music, moving his arms in a way that leaves Alex confused because anyone else doing such a dance move would look utterly ridiculous. The chandelier above paints Zach in flattering hues of gold, and the skin on his chest grows tight. 

Zach waves at him, a gesture for him to start dancing, and unsure of what else to do, he starts to mimic Zach's very interesting dance movements. 

“Dude,” Zach yells over the loud thumping beat. “What the hell are you doing? You look like you’re doing that Club Penguin dance, but like, not in a good way.” 

”I’m copying you, asshole.” 

“I take that back then,” Zach’s face lights up, “you are doing wonderful.” 

”Shut up,” Alex can barely hide the smile that’s creeping its way across his face. 

”Never."

Zach changes his dance, jerkily moving his limbs, and it looks like a robotic version of the dances he was doing earlier. He’s grinning wildly at Alex. It then hits him, that Zach's making fun of his 'Club Penguin dance moves.' 

“Fuck you.” 

”Chill, dude, you have a boyfriend.” Zach pretends to look scandalized, then sidesteps to let an obviously wasted couple wobble their way past them. A flailing limb smacks Zach in the face, and a weak 'sorry!' could be heard as the duo scuttles off in the general direction of the washrooms. 

Alex opens his mouth, probably to reply with some snarky comeback, and laughter spills from his mouth— it’s unexpected, and he might blame some of it on the alcohol, but strangely, this is the most fun he’s had in a long time. Giggles riddle his lungs, and soon Zach joins him, both of their shoulders heaving in the effort. 

"Wow! Look! You're having fun!" Zach snickers, slinging his arm around Alex's shoulders, as their laughter begins to die off, "took only like a million bad jokes, the rest of my alcohol, one face smack and a little bit of the ol' Dempsey magic to get you going, but to each their own."

"Why the fuck do I enjoy your company again?" Alex snorts, rocking back and forth on his heels along to the beat.

"'Cause you love me," the arm around his shoulder tightens slightly. "Plus, I’m way cooler than Charlie anyways."

* * *

_”Why are you here with me, and not Charlie?”_

* * * 

Alex believes his lungs have failed him for a good two seconds. 

"Don’t, uh," Zach doesn’t seem to notice his internal panicking, and carries on, "don't tell Charlie I said that. I know that I am very much superior to cookie boy in your judgement, but he doesn’t have to know that. He might seem like baking is his only personality trait, but he still does pack a hard punch." 

"Yeah," Alex breathes out, his lungs rattling against his ribcage, yearning for air, "yeah, don’t worry. I won’t tell Charlie that you're a narcissistic ass."

His face burns, and he’s absolutely-fucking-terrified of looking up at Zach's face.

"Hey, you love this narcissistic ass," Zach lets go of his shoulders, and playfully nudges him. Alex looks up, and there is no hint of malice or ill intent present on Zach's face. Just a smile that highlights his entire face. 

"Whatever," Alex pretends to roll his eyes, feeling a sense of relief, "love the hot banter we have going." 

"And my narcissistic ass," Zach teases.

"And your narciss—"

"It's time to announce our prom king and queen!" The song that has been playing at full-blast suddenly stops, and all the students turn their heads to face the stage. Jessica stands there, effortlessly looking like a queen in her navy blue dress, her dark curls flowing effortlessly down her back. 

She holds up the envelope which contains the two names, and the crowd delves into whispers about who could’ve won prom king and queen this year. 

"Holy shit!" She lets out a small giggle as she studies the names printed on the small piece of paper. Zach raises his eyebrows as in question to who could’ve won prom king and queen this year around, and Alex shrugs. He’s not one for such trivial matters— honestly, the glory of winning whole prom king and queen thing seems like a terrible cliché from the movies. 

"The prom king and queen are," Jessica pauses dramatically. "Or king and king. Or I guess queen and queen, you know it’s whatever they prefer."

There's another dramatic pause, and Zach loudly faux-whispers, "Get it over with already!" 

Alex snickers.

"Your prom royalty, Alex Standall and Charlie St. George!"

The sentence bounces around in Alex's mind, and he doesn’t want to move, shock and confusion and many more unlisted emotions hitting him like brick, as people's cheers drowned out his thoughts. He can barely hear the faint noise of Zach congratulating him; as his voice is lost in the loud clamour of the crowd. His breathing picks up, nerves fluttering in his stomach, and making his legs feel shaky. 

"Where are they?" Jessica asks the crowd, and people look around to try and find him and Charlie. Charlie pops out of the sea of people; big goofy smile on his face, and Alex’s stomach swoops. 

He instinctively wants to hide behind Zach— there’s no way he and Charlie have won prom kings. He dreads the attention that the students will give, when they find him, although at least he won’t be alone. He’ll have Charlie. 

But what about Zach?

"Dude," Zach says, interrupting his flow of thoughts, "go get him.”

He places his hand Alex’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze and gives him a soft, encouraging smile. “You got this.” 

Then, Zach lets him go.   
  


  
* * * 

  
  


_“But I love you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I KNOW I USED LINES FROM THIS OLD FIC IN MY OGHER FICS DONT BULLY ME 😿😿😿 this is such an old piece of writing 
> 
> don’t forget to kudo + comment 😼😼😼


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